Journeys through this Life.: To YOU

Journeys through this Life.: To YOU

To YOU

Thinking and reflecting.  Feeling and questioning.
  Never tweeting never call.  Never texting just a wall.
 Running and running then stop for a while. Seen
Lots of faces but question the smile.  Pathology again
Surfacing and menacing.  Naw not me.  Look in the mirror and
See.  So much distance created can't see.  Don't know to
Now let it be. Pathology.  Creating and vanishing black holes.
Never even had that goal.  Operating in and out of blindness.
Remembering and reflecting.  Reflecting and remembering.
You should know that you I didn't want to lose.  Just words though.
Spitting knowledge to all.  But still never making a call.
Changing and transforming. Distancing but alone.
Time to stand still.  Time to just feel. And fall and fall.
But stand still.

SOLANGE - LOSING YOU

Listen, we are....

I'm not mad at you, love.  I am you.  We are the same.  Experience that.

This Song makes me smile (inside and out)!

Lawdy B......

That's all I got today.  Lawdy B!  Yet still smiling and looking forward.  :)

Invisibly Magnificent (Flash Back)

I am open.

Vulnerable to this time and space.

Restless nights seem to become more.

I see not until now.

I have done it again.

This cycle is on repeat.

Just Stop!

Just Stop!

Yet I remain the ghost.

Invisibly magnificent.

Intelligent.

Weak.

Those eyes, that smile.

You.

This cycle is on constant repeat.

And Like a thief, you take my breathe.

My beat.

My life.

I do not want this.

I feel helpless.

Hopeless.

Afraid.

Blinded by your energy.

Your glory.

I stand before you……… empty.

Yet full of you.

In my eyes, a ghost.

Again, restlessness pours down.

Confused and ashamed.

I become an infant in your glory.

If I make it thru again,

I will give anything.

Anything not to feel.

Not to breathe.

Not to cry.

Not to have this restlestness.

To be this ghost.

Your rest is endless.

I'm not as lucky.

But I am invisible.

Magnificent.

Confused.

Lost.

A child.

I acknowledge this cycle of repeat.

I press stop.

I want this not.

I can't.

And somehow won't.

You owe me this.

You owe me nothing.

I lay.

Wide awake.

Open.

Vulnerable.

A ghost created by me.

J.Mc

Dreams. Realities. Zombies? (Flashback)

Sometimes,
We become so confused.
We are so alone.
That we begin to see things that are not real.
Everything becomes nothing.
Yet nothing becomes an obsession.
We wrestle with what we can not see.
What we can not touch.
It becomes our reality.
We become zombies.
Trapped in dreams and hopes.
No Sleep.
No Life.
Realization is a distant past.
Maybe the future.
Tell me.....
Please.
Am I still dreaming?
Are you there?

JMc

WOW.... How sad (indeed) it is to be ignorant.

Just listened to a "religious" man (a preacher.... LOL!) attempt to bring down another persons religion.  Don't get me wrong, I wasn't shocked at all.  I even started to set him up on the right path and arm him with facts not regurgitated nonsense, but then I thought.... "enjoy".  And yes, he is a big ole christian with all his inappropriateness, judgments and ignorance in tact.  Not that all religious people are ignorant or tactless judgmental residue, um... but he definitely is not exactly connected to the truth (facts).

Seriously, I just thought, as he continued to talk aimlessly sordid, this is what "the people" get dressed up every Sunday to hear - to see.  W.O.W.  (wow).

Enjoy!

Life

I'm watching this movie and I'm thinking but not thoughts.  Its way deeper than that, like an awareness.  Three movies in 2 days and I just realized that all the movies are pretty much the same.  As I sit and watch this latest movie (and of course I have already predicted the ending--yep, that's me, always waiting for the ending) I can't help but wonder:  "Did I pick the movies or did they pick me?"

You know, there are really no coincidences.

It's funny though, even if you are in the middle of a storm, you can suddenly become so calm.  Everything becomes crystal clear.  The pettiness dissolves.  There's nothing left but everything and nothing more than this moment of clarity.

This one question remains that life continues to pose yet no answer is required:  "Did you learn the lesson yet?  Or shall we begin it again with greater intensity?"

I reflected for a brief second and then smiled...... "yes, I have".

Suddenly.... an unexpected ending.

Once upon a time there lived this boy who gave his all but his all wasn't good enough so he stopped. And then the world stopped.

(1 of 2) I've been thinking. Actually thinking to much. What does life have to offer. I've been searching and no one is listening. Anyone out there? Anyone

(2 of 2) listening?

Everlasting.... Never

I think about the life that I have today.  I would have never imagined in a 100 years that I would be at this place in my life.  It's funny how we are so busy planning, that we forget that we those be dreams, come big changes.  So here I am, at a place of change.  Heading right down the fork in the road and I realized that we always get exactly what we asked for.  I never wanted to be burdoned by things or places or thoughts or expression.  Now it's funny, I'm getting exactly what I asked for and I initially failed to realize it.  "Ask and you shall receive".... that phrase I always remember.  At first thought, I think, which way to turn, which way to go.  Then I re-evaluate that thought and realize that I already know what to do.  I always did.

Step 1for me is realizing that when I ask for something, often it means that I MUST give something up to make room for the new.  This is the step that I currently exist.  I remain optimistic.  But I know that I already am.  I always had what I asked for, I just needed to accept it.  I just needed to rememeber that there is no separation between me and that never ending power.  I just had to remember to tap into that power and ask, then accept it because it already is.

I have also had to accept over these last 2 years that there are those who are true and those that were meant to be seasonal.  I was meant to learn from those seasonal relationships, appreciate them for what they are and then let it go without malice but joy of that very experience.  This makes me truly blessed.

Nothing is meant to last forever and change is inevitable.  For 2 years, I was in a cocoon state.  There are some who probably believe that I was being shady, but I will say that I am not.  There are those that will say that I have remained sad and unmotivated for 2 years and again I say, I have not.  I was in between 2 worlds:  The "now" and the suspended state of sleeping while awake....

But at last, I am awake now and ready to move forward and walk through the fire.

Changes...

Taking new directions and forming new impressions of what I thought I knew.

Fake it until you make it?

Every time I try to fake it, I flake it.  :)  I used to be able to just go with the flow of everyday corporate crap but for some reason or another, I have reached a plateau that I can not return.  The endless red tape, nonsensical processes, the superior-like mindset, the complete disregard for human life accept for their own.  I guess it is really true that once we know better, we must do better.

Now I must say, I am usually intensely reflective before a birthday (which is 6/19) and I have this need to think about my past decisions and how not only have I changed but what have I added to this world?

I must say, "nothing" for the last year.

I'm sitting here at my desk at this huge corporation and everything is the same.  It is fake and pointless and dull and destructive. 

I thought that I had pulled myself up from my slump, but I wonder if I never did?  Maybe I just pulled myself from the bottom, but I never cleared the ditch.

Furthermore, as of late, I keep making the choice to take the wrong path (towards success) even though I know that it takes away from what's true more than what it gives back.  I have been in deep thought over how I could work for a corporation that would tell someone that even though they are sick, that if they leave that they will receive a disciplinary action which resulted in the employee going to the E.R.  This deeply bothers me as I know this is not acceptable; it is not humane.

So I know what you are thinking (as am I), so now what?

Here's what I do know, I will soon change my path again.  I am vowing to give back and take less.  I am vowing to be the one that stands up to the "machine" and say "no" - it is not acceptable.

OK, so enough of that.  My birthday is tomorrow and I am planning a very relaxing day of good music, good food and good fun.  I have nothing planned but sometimes nothing is everything and more.

Later.

Shakira - Waka Waka (This Time for Africa) (The Official 2010 FIFA ...

You've gotta be kidding me....

Every week, we are suppose to submit feedback regarding the training process and for the last 2 weeks since we've had someone new, they have completely disregarded this process.

Here's the deal, someone said in class today that maybe things would improve if we wrote down what should be improved... and suddenly, with the ignored matter being address, the "trainer" decided to request that everyone submit their suggestions.  I ignored him, of course.

Oh, I forgot to say that on day 1 of having this new trainer that we had "words".  I said exactly what I felt and how ridiculous I thought he was and it's a done deal.

I will just say this, negative energy just builds more negative energy.  This is a proven fact. 

What's even more ridiculous is that he is taking away from the company and they are blind to this fact. 

Check the history of the dinosaurs.

OK... so listen to this -

Once upon a time in a land far far south, there was this guy that started this new job (as most people know) and everything was good.  Um, perfect even.   He was pretty excited and overall morale was great.  He gave his-self fully.  They painted a picture of this great kingdom with gum drops and chocolate for breakfast.  This environment where everyone sang in unisom and held hands and laughed; they played.  At last, nothing ever stays the same - HUH.

So suddenly a darkness came over the kingdom and everything quickly changed for the worst.  This normally gentle being had to release the beast.  He became resentful and full of anger.  There was a great divide and nothing will ever be the same for him or this kingdom. 

As he gathered himself, he realized that no place of work in this world deserved this type of energy and this mythical loving kingdom never existed.  It was all a rouse.  A sad, ugly, unkind, loud-mouthed, ego-tistical rouse.

So he let it go.  He let it all go.  And He regained his composure.  He regained his life-force.  He regained his "fight" and went on with his eyes wide open to exist in this new day.

The END.

Question.... what do you think the moral of the story is?

I'm back and better than ever....

Ok, so let's be real here.  That other place did not work out.  Um... I knew that on day week, then 1 week and then the last day.  It was hillarious though how it ended.  I just let and was like, whatever, I'm not coming back.  Even though I was pretty much offered a leadership role, the company sucked.

Dear Corporations a/k/a Dinosaurs:

You must evolve or die.

I will share more later.