Everlasting.... Never

I think about the life that I have today.  I would have never imagined in a 100 years that I would be at this place in my life.  It's funny how we are so busy planning, that we forget that we those be dreams, come big changes.  So here I am, at a place of change.  Heading right down the fork in the road and I realized that we always get exactly what we asked for.  I never wanted to be burdoned by things or places or thoughts or expression.  Now it's funny, I'm getting exactly what I asked for and I initially failed to realize it.  "Ask and you shall receive".... that phrase I always remember.  At first thought, I think, which way to turn, which way to go.  Then I re-evaluate that thought and realize that I already know what to do.  I always did.

Step 1for me is realizing that when I ask for something, often it means that I MUST give something up to make room for the new.  This is the step that I currently exist.  I remain optimistic.  But I know that I already am.  I always had what I asked for, I just needed to accept it.  I just needed to rememeber that there is no separation between me and that never ending power.  I just had to remember to tap into that power and ask, then accept it because it already is.

I have also had to accept over these last 2 years that there are those who are true and those that were meant to be seasonal.  I was meant to learn from those seasonal relationships, appreciate them for what they are and then let it go without malice but joy of that very experience.  This makes me truly blessed.

Nothing is meant to last forever and change is inevitable.  For 2 years, I was in a cocoon state.  There are some who probably believe that I was being shady, but I will say that I am not.  There are those that will say that I have remained sad and unmotivated for 2 years and again I say, I have not.  I was in between 2 worlds:  The "now" and the suspended state of sleeping while awake....

But at last, I am awake now and ready to move forward and walk through the fire.