Every time I try to fake it, I flake it. :) I used to be able to just go with the flow of everyday corporate crap but for some reason or another, I have reached a plateau that I can not return. The endless red tape, nonsensical processes, the superior-like mindset, the complete disregard for human life accept for their own. I guess it is really true that once we know better, we must do better.
Now I must say, I am usually intensely reflective before a birthday (which is 6/19) and I have this need to think about my past decisions and how not only have I changed but what have I added to this world?
I must say, "nothing" for the last year.
I'm sitting here at my desk at this huge corporation and everything is the same. It is fake and pointless and dull and destructive.
I thought that I had pulled myself up from my slump, but I wonder if I never did? Maybe I just pulled myself from the bottom, but I never cleared the ditch.
Furthermore, as of late, I keep making the choice to take the wrong path (towards success) even though I know that it takes away from what's true more than what it gives back. I have been in deep thought over how I could work for a corporation that would tell someone that even though they are sick, that if they leave that they will receive a disciplinary action which resulted in the employee going to the E.R. This deeply bothers me as I know this is not acceptable; it is not humane.
So I know what you are thinking (as am I), so now what?
Here's what I do know, I will soon change my path again. I am vowing to give back and take less. I am vowing to be the one that stands up to the "machine" and say "no" - it is not acceptable.
OK, so enough of that. My birthday is tomorrow and I am planning a very relaxing day of good music, good food and good fun. I have nothing planned but sometimes nothing is everything and more.
Later.
